Aku Telah Terbiasa

Aku telah terbiasa ditemani olehmu
Dalam tidurku, dalam kerjaku, dalam hidupku
Aku telah terbiasa mendengar suaramu
Nyanyikan lagu untukku & panjatkan doa tidurku

Aku telah terbiasa bercerita padamu
Berkeluh kesah atau cerita gembira
Aku telah terbiasa meneleponmu
Tidak di siang hari, malam, atau pun pagi buta

Aku telah terbiasa memilikimu
Sanggupkah aku nanti?
Aku telah terbiasa mencintaimu
Relakah kau pergi?

Aku telah terbiasa...
Dan kupikir kaupun begitu
Akankah kita bisa lewati semua ini?

Aku telah terbiasa
Dan kaupun telah terbiasa
Ya, kita akan kuat jalani ini semua
Karena...
Kita punya cinta
Cinta yang akan selalu menguatkan kita

Written 14 Desember 2009
Story by Ellia

SUARA

Suara...
Mengapa kali ini kau tidak bersuara
Suaramu yang terdengar begitu menggoda
Suaramu yang begitu menenangkan jiwa

Suara...
Ada apa dengan dirimu di sana
Aku merindukan bisikan-bisikan itu
Aku merindukan gelak dan candamu

Suara...
Jangan pernah bosan kau temaniku
Ucapkan doa atau lantunkan lagu
Bahkan gumaman dan seruan hm.. hm.. oya?

Suara...
Jangan pergi dariku, kumembutuhkanmu
Pujian, amarah atau dorongan darimu
Selalu memacu semangat dan hasratku untuk maju

Suara...
Suara hatiku...
Suara jiwaku...
Jagalah aku dan cintaku..

Written : Desember 2nd, 2009

Ku Ingin Hadirmu

Harusnya ini malam yang indah
Rembulan & bintang menghiasi langit malam
Namun mengapa hati ini terasa gundah
Tanpa hadirmu, jiwa ini terasa kelam

Harusnya liburan ini gembira
Bertemu, bercanda, tertawa bersama
Namun mengapa perjumpaan kembali tertunda?
Apakah Takdir sedang mempermainkan kita?

Kian hari jiwa ini kian terasa letih
Letih menanti suatu yang tak pasti
Dan hati ini semakin merintih
Pedih, perih, karena harus terus sembunyi

Cintaku, ku ingin hadirmu disini
Dekap hangat & peluk erat tubuh ini
Bawa aku jauh melayang pergi
Dan jangan pernah kau sakiti

Sayangku, ku ingin hadirmu disini
Kecup mesra bibir lembut ini
Bisikkan kata cinta di telinga ini
Atau, berapa lama lagi ku harus menanti?

Request story by D32
Written : Nov 27, 2009

I Just Can't Stop

I was alone, waiting...
Waiting for someone
Someone who can cure my heart
My little broken heart

I was there, crying...
Crying coz of afraid
Afraid if I couldn't find
Find someone like you

But then...
I met you, make friend with you
Slowly, you've filled my life
You've filled my whole life

Then years, I depend on you
I put my life on you
I think, I have my future with you
I love you...

And years, we've been through
You've seen my laughs and my tears
And I've seen yours too
You were there for my ups and downs
And I was there believe your success too

But then...
Faith came between us
He made distance, took you away
More and more, we're apart

Two years already
It's been two years already
I don't reallly know your day anymore
I don't really know your heart anymore

I'm sorry...
For I can't be perfect for you
I'm really sorry...
For I just can't stop loving you

"Honey"...
That's what you called me
"Honey"...
I miss you...

Request story by Joe
Written : Nov 27th, 2009

Mampukah Kubertahan

Mencintaimu kini tidak lagi mudah
Mencintaimu butuh kesabaran dan pengertian
Mencintaimu sungguh kuterbuai
Mencintaimu adalah anugrah

Setiap hari kulewati dengan berjuta rasa
Setiap saat bersamamu ada cerita
Setiap mata terpejam ku disertai doa
Setiap kurindu ada sesak di dada

Mampukah ku bertahan?
Jarak ini membuatku tersiksa
Mampukah ku lepaskan?
Saat kau dan aku harus berpisah

Request story by Elia
Written : Oct 17th, 2009

MENUNGGU

Menunggu...
Dalam kesendirian ini,
Jiwa ini menunggu
Dalam detak ini aku mengeluh
Penat dada ini mengadu
Sakit, sakit aku berseru
Tiada yang hiraukan jeritanku

Kepala ini mulai berputar
Semua tak lagi terlihat jelas
Buram, wajahmu pun buram
Jantungku memalu,
Limbung, dunia mulai gelap
Pergi...
Semua sirna dariku.

Request by : d32
Written : Oct 23rd, 2009

CINTAKU

Dalam, dalam...
Makin dalam rinduku
Matamu, bibirmu, wajahmu
Semua memenuhi anganku...

Betapa ingin ku berada di dekatmu
Menyentuhmu, memelukmu, bersamamu
Betapa aku menantikan sang waktu
Agar kita kembali bertemu

Sayangku, kekasih hatiku
Begitu kau menyebut diriku
Hangat seluruh tubuh mendengar kau memanggilku
Cinta, aku cinta kamu...

Dekat, dekat...
Makin dekat jiwa ini menyatu
Lekat, lekat...
Sungguh ku tak ingin jauh darimu

Jika cinta boleh lahir dimana saja
Biarkan dia & aku saling bercinta
Jika cinta memang bukanlah dosa
Mengapa harus kau pisahkan kami berdua?

Request by : Lulu
Written : 11 Nov '09

LULU

Lulu has arrived around 4.30pm. She is so reeddd, and so beautifull.. I think I've falling in love with her...

It's really a great lucky number. 4 is my lucky number. Yesterday is 4th November. and Lulu arrived at 4 o'clock.

Anyway, I hope I can bring her home soon..

Welcome to LULU

Thanks God, Lulu will come today... I've been waiting Lulu for several months and now you sent her as my birhtday present. I promise I'll take care of her, and I believe you will take care of me and Lulu too.

Lulu, thank you and please take care of me, from now, till the end.

I welcome my dearest Lulu to my small little home. Wish you the best and always strong.

My Love For You

Time pass us by so fast
Leaving all the things behind
Time never stay too long and last
Not even if you are a blind

That time when we last met
We have lot of things haven't do
But I know we'll never regret
Coz we've done our best to do

This time I don't have much to say
Just few words to remind you, okay
Don't look back, let's make new overlay
Coz my love for you never stop till today

This We Treasure

So many years that we've been through
But there're so many misteries I found in you
Every time I think already knew
You come up and suprised me with something new

Thousand moments have been shared
Million memories have been painted
It's joyfull or sadness we beared together
Which I hope will tighten us forever

Honey, honey, I love you much
From the first time I saw you
Till the last time we went out

It's our life, it's our love
I pray this our journey
Never regret we treasure

Written : 16 Oct '09
Request by : Ellia

Jeritan Hatiku

Malam ini terasa sepi
Kuingin hadirmu disini
Mengapa kau begitu jauh disana
Tak dapatkah kita bersama?

Ku tak dapat memelukmu
Ku tak bisa rasakan hangatmu
Dadaku menjerit ingin dirimu
Hatiku sakit tak bisa melupakanmu

Semakin hari semakin dalam cintaku
Dan akupun kini mulai merasa cemburu
Setiap wanit yang dekat denganmu
Terasa seperti ancaman bagi diriku

Sayang, aku cinta kamu
Hanya dirimu yang kini tentramkan aku
Doa-doamu, kecupanmu, suaramu
Slalu menyelimuti jiwaku

Andaikan kita memang harus berpisah nanti
Ingatlah selalu tentang diriku
Ingatlah aku yang pernah tulus mencintaimu
Walau dengan segala perbedaan antara kau dan aku

Written : 10 Oct '09
Request story by : Lulu

RESAH

Galau hati ini bimbang menimbang
Ragu jiwa ini menapak jalan bercabang
Lelah diri ini ingin lupakan lara
Sambut cinta reguk pelepas dahaga

Resah hati ini kian gundah
Ingin teriak lapangkan dada
Jangan tinggalkan aku jangan pindah
Peluk erat diriku, aku tersiksa

Jagalah aku untuk selamanya
Aku tak sanggup hadapi ini semua
Ku takut ku sungguh tak bisa
Tiada kau temani, hari hariku tak bahagia

Lama kucari kini telah kudapat
Belahan jiwaku sungguh kuterpikat
Ku sungguh resah waktu kian singkat
Akankah diriku slalu kau ingat?

Written : 21 Sept '09
Request story by : Lulu

PERPISAHAN

Waktu berlari dengan cepat
Meninggalkan bekas dan jejak rindu
Kadang ingin rasanya memelukmu erat
Meluapkan perasaan tersembunyi dari kalbu

Mengapa oh Mengapa
Tak cukup waktu tuk mengenalmu
Tak relaku tuk berpisah darimu
Tak inginku meninggalkan ini semua

Tapi kini ku tak kuasa
Bila takdir telah berbicara
Ku hanya mampu ucapkan doa
Semoga ini bukan akhir dari segalanya

Tak pernah ku mengira
Ada rasa timbul di jiwa
Senyum malu, detak rindu mendera
Apakah ini rasanya cinta?

Oh Tuhan, kuatkan hambaMu
Hanya satu doa dan pintaku
Biarkan kelak ia bahagia
Walau tanpaku ada disana

Written September '09
Request by : D32

KERINDUAN

Sungguh sakit sesak terasa
Jerit hati ingin berjumpa
Sungguh sulit menahan kata
Ingin sampaikan rindu di dada

Pabila sedetak terasa sewindu
Bolehkah jangan kau tinggalkan aku?
Pabila sedetak mampu buatku merindu
Maukah kau tetap di sisiku?

Wahai kau sang angin malam
Bawalah diriku terbang melayang
Bawalah hasratku yang makin dalam
Melepas rindu untuk yang tersayang

Written September '09
Request by : D32

I Love You, Baby

I love you, baby
I just wanna love you
But don't know why
It's seems just so hard for me and you

I love you, baby
Yes, I do...
But you always have doubt on me
And I feel so tired

You never give me a real chance
A chance to proove my love, my true love
How can I proove it if I'm not the only GF?
How can you know the real me?

I'll leaving soon
I hope you'll be happy
Eventhough this is hard for me
But you'll always in my heart

"For better or worse,
Till death do us part,
I love you with every beat of my heart
I swear..."

I Love You and Always Will

A year has gone
A year I have losen you
A year I've been missing you
A year I can still feel you near

I know you'll never come back
I know I can't hold you back
But everytime I look at your pic
I know you have lived a new life there

Sometimes I still wish you were alive
sometimes I just don't realize
how precious you are to me
how secure I feel when you were near with me

I love you daddy
I love you and always will

Hujan dan Angin, Cintaku

Hujan menyirami bumi
Tanah ku berpijak basah meresah
Dedaunan bergoyang menari nari
Temani hatiku yang sedang gelisah

Wahai sang angin malam...
Kau sentuh lembut sukmaku
Selimuti kalbu yang penuh rindu
Belai jiwaku yang kian menyelam

Ada hangat dalam peluk tubuhmu
Ada hasrat dalam cium bibirmu
Ada kasih dalam tatap matamu
Ada cinta di setiap nafasmu

Adakah hujan membawa pergi dirimu?
Kenapa kau tinggalkan aku dan menunggu
Adakah angin tak meniup pesanku untukmu?
Pastikan aku adalah cintamu

Joy and Peace

Love can bring you happiness
But happiness sometimes can hurt other people
Love can make you smile
But smile might be just a mask

Sometimes all you need is a piece of joy
Joy can't hurt anyone
Joy is pure that touch till the heart
Joy is mystery of life that everyone want

Peace is when you found something
That can bring you joy
Peace is when you happy and no one hurt
Peace is when you can be free
Peace is when you find love unconditionally

It's a Beautiful Sunshine

Can you feel it?
When the winter breeze starts to go
When the wind not so cold any more
It feels like an ice starts to melt

Can you feel it?
When you see the face of your love
When you just close your eyes but no
Coz everything remind you nothing but him

It's a beautiful sunshine
When your heart beat faster
When you have no reason but you smile
It's the feeling when you falling in love

Yes, I do..
It feels like wanna say that..
"Soon, I'll be your lover,
And you'll be mine"

written 17 Jan '09

Arti Kamu buat Aku

Mungkin bagi kmu ini semua sudah terlambat
Mudah mudahan masih ada kesempatan
Aku cuma bisa berdoa moga moga hal yang indah dapat terulang kembali
Sekarang aku ga bisa apa apa

Mungkin ada baiknya aku itu tidak ada sebelum kamu pergi
Mungkin akan sangat menyakitkan apabila aku sadar
Dan kamu sudah tidak ada...
Sejujurnya, aku jauh lebih memilih kehilangan dia dari kehilangan kamu

Kamu ga tau seberapa besar cinta yang aku pendam buat kamu
Kalau aku ga sayang ama kamu
Mungkin sudah dari dulu aku cuek dan ga peduli ama kamu
Yah, mudah mudahan aja hal yang indah dapat terulang kembali

Aku sayang banget ama kamu... aku ga mau kamu pergi
Udah banyak hal yang aku kerjakan buat kamu
Sekarang kamu mau pergi begitu aja
Akan lebih baik di posisi yang meninggalkan daripada yang ditinggalkan

Mulai hari ini aku akan lebih banyak berdoa lagi buat kamu dan aku
Mudah mudahan kita itu bisa berjodoh
Amin...

Written by 13413Y

I love you

you are not alone....

once...
when I woke up after took a nap
after rest from tears
I opened my blog n thought I could start to write something...

But my mind is blanked...
I didn't know what to write...
I just stared at the windows and type nothing...

Then, suddenly like thundered
I wrote the title...
I Hate You but I Love You
the first paragraph, written "I feel lonely..."
I stopped, when the door was opened by him...

He stood and sat beside me...
Saw what I wrote and erase some of them...

What left is what you see in the title
And the first sentence...

I love you too...

This poem is dedicated to him

Mensyukuri Kekurangan

Seusai sebuah upacara pernikahan di Singapura, beberapa tahun yang lalu, sang ayah mertua memanggil menantu barunya ke pojok untuk memberinya nasehat tentang bagaimana agar pernikahannya awet dan bahagia. "Kamu mungkin sangat mencintai anak saya," katanya kepada si pemuda. "Ya, iya dooong..." desah si pemuda.

"Dan kamu mungkin berpikir dialah perempuan paling hebat di dunia," sambung si mertua.

"Dia begitu sempurna dalam segala hal," si menantu mengiyakan dengan nada kurang sabar.

"Itulah yang kamu rasakan sewaktu baru menikah," kata si mertua. "Namun setelah beberapa tahun, kamu akan mulai melihat kekurangan-kekurangan anak saya. Saat kamu mulai menyadarinya, saya ingin kamu ingat ini: jika dia tidak punya kekurangan-kekurangan itu, Menantuku, dia mungkin sudah menikah dengan orang lain yang jauh lebih baik dari kamu!"

Jadi, kita harus selalu bersyukur atas kekurangan-kekurangan pasangan kita, karena jika sedari awal mereka tidak memiliki kekurangan-kekurangan itu, mereka sudah akan menikah dengan orang lain yang jauh lebih baik daripada kita.

Disadur dari buku "Si Cacing dan Kotoran Kesayangannya" oleh "Ajahn Brahm", hal 40.

It's enlightened.

I Wanna Be Free

Dear Blog...
The time is tick and tock
I still in the same block
Can't get away and still meet another lock

Dear Blog....
All I ask is just a freedom
A freedom to do what I wanna do
To love someone with free
To caress and to touch...

Dear Blog...
I want to not care what people will say, or think about me
I wanna be my self, I wanna be Me...
I only wanna be free

Do they like if other people talking about their life so much?
Do they like if everything they do will be an issue around?
Should I not affected and just close my ears and keep doing of what I put my faith in?
Please just leave me doing my things...
Please just let me to learn to be the best of me, of what I trust that I can do...
I beg you people...
Please, just be quiet for a while...
I wanna be free....

Differences

There are differences between too kind or stupid. I don't know which side I am now.

Sometimes I think I don't do wrong, it's others fault, but I can't yell at them, I can't tell them nicely either. They only do whatever they want, they pushed me to the line. They don't know whose the one should be take responsible of that job, they don't care. Don't you know, I am exactly just helping them, it's not my job desk actually, but, what the hell, they don't care. They don't care why the things come late, they don't even wanna know first why it's late. First thing come out from their mouth is "how did you do your job? So stupid!".

F***! It's not like once or twice, many boss, many jobs. If it is my job desk, I'll be fine if you angry to me coz I do something wrong. But, if I just, only, helping you, when that job is not my job, do please don't put your mouth like your ass. I'm human, I have a heart. I'm helping you, I'm not your servant, you are not my boss.

Damn, it's not even my business.

the result

Cholesterol...
Yes, the result, I got cholesterol...

Doctor said that I've to continue my diet and eat more oatmeal. Till today, the heart beat and the heavy stone still happened. Well, she (doctor) said we'll check again after 1,5 months. we'll see if it's going better or how. But, I do need take diet action.

Well, I just can hope and pray. And of course, do the diet.

Heart Beat

I found strange about my heart since I was in high school. It can beat faster so suddenly. Like when I was sitting just read a book, but it knock suddenly like a rock and roll concert. Well, actually, I wanna say that so rarely happened when I was in my college. Just sometimes, not once a month, but really few times in a year. But last Saturday, I was so afraid.

It happened at night, around 7-8 pm. That time I was resting on my bed, watching movie. Suddenly, it hit and beat faster, and lasting for about half an hour. After so long time ago I never feel this again (well, last 2 years I often feel like hardly to breath, like a heavy stone put upon my chest, but just like that, never about the beat again), I was afraid. I try not to think about it. I try to focus on my movie, but it became harder to breath, not only beat and hit faster. I have to take a cough so many times just to help me easier to breath, or take a deep exhale and inhale.

I checked my pulse, if I aint count wrong, it beat twice faster than normal, up to hundreds in 1 minute. not really twice, but it fast and hard enough to made me breathless.

Do you know, that saturday morning, I just check up my blood to the lab, the result will come out by today. Just now, I got phone call from hospital to inform me that I can have my result this afternoon and I say that I'll go there after office hour.

I don't know what is in there, but I hope everything's gonna be alright. Coz that night, my head felt very dizzy... and since then, my heart often heavily breath. Now I often make cough just to make me feel easier to breath.

afraid or happy?

yesterday, before he left, he came to my room. and he said, "I'm going out. Has anyone told you," I think that's end of the sentence, so I said "no,", but he ain't listened. He continue, "you look prettier everyday". I smiled and said "Thank you".

Today, before he left, he came again to my room and said "I'm in hurry, I'm going to out to Singapore", then I surprised cause this morning I've asked if he want me to buy his lunch. So, I've ordered. Then I asked "so, how about your lunch?" He came forward and strangled my neck, well, of course he just do it pretending, "Of course you are the one who help me to eat that," then he walked away still laughing.

Hahaha... it's really strange. I'm afraid, but I'm happy.