Differences

There are differences between too kind or stupid. I don't know which side I am now.

Sometimes I think I don't do wrong, it's others fault, but I can't yell at them, I can't tell them nicely either. They only do whatever they want, they pushed me to the line. They don't know whose the one should be take responsible of that job, they don't care. Don't you know, I am exactly just helping them, it's not my job desk actually, but, what the hell, they don't care. They don't care why the things come late, they don't even wanna know first why it's late. First thing come out from their mouth is "how did you do your job? So stupid!".

F***! It's not like once or twice, many boss, many jobs. If it is my job desk, I'll be fine if you angry to me coz I do something wrong. But, if I just, only, helping you, when that job is not my job, do please don't put your mouth like your ass. I'm human, I have a heart. I'm helping you, I'm not your servant, you are not my boss.

Damn, it's not even my business.

the result

Cholesterol...
Yes, the result, I got cholesterol...

Doctor said that I've to continue my diet and eat more oatmeal. Till today, the heart beat and the heavy stone still happened. Well, she (doctor) said we'll check again after 1,5 months. we'll see if it's going better or how. But, I do need take diet action.

Well, I just can hope and pray. And of course, do the diet.

Heart Beat

I found strange about my heart since I was in high school. It can beat faster so suddenly. Like when I was sitting just read a book, but it knock suddenly like a rock and roll concert. Well, actually, I wanna say that so rarely happened when I was in my college. Just sometimes, not once a month, but really few times in a year. But last Saturday, I was so afraid.

It happened at night, around 7-8 pm. That time I was resting on my bed, watching movie. Suddenly, it hit and beat faster, and lasting for about half an hour. After so long time ago I never feel this again (well, last 2 years I often feel like hardly to breath, like a heavy stone put upon my chest, but just like that, never about the beat again), I was afraid. I try not to think about it. I try to focus on my movie, but it became harder to breath, not only beat and hit faster. I have to take a cough so many times just to help me easier to breath, or take a deep exhale and inhale.

I checked my pulse, if I aint count wrong, it beat twice faster than normal, up to hundreds in 1 minute. not really twice, but it fast and hard enough to made me breathless.

Do you know, that saturday morning, I just check up my blood to the lab, the result will come out by today. Just now, I got phone call from hospital to inform me that I can have my result this afternoon and I say that I'll go there after office hour.

I don't know what is in there, but I hope everything's gonna be alright. Coz that night, my head felt very dizzy... and since then, my heart often heavily breath. Now I often make cough just to make me feel easier to breath.